


New Guy

by randomcheeses



Category: Fullmetal Alchemist
Genre: Gen, Gen Fic, Humor
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2010-10-14
Updated: 2010-10-14
Packaged: 2017-10-12 16:05:40
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 546
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/126663
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/randomcheeses/pseuds/randomcheeses
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>There's a new guy in Eastern Command . . .</p>
            </blockquote>





	New Guy

There was a loud shriek, followed by an explosion, and a large cloud of dust rose above the buildings of the Eastern HQ of the Amestrian Military.

Sergeant Jones, newly arrived from Central, hastily dodged out of the way as a smouldering red and gold blur dashed past him, followed closely by a dust covered officer wearing gloves with bright red alchemic circles on them. The officer was followed by a blond lieutenant from whom Jones caught the whiff of cigarette smoke, and a grey-haired warrant officer.

"What the hell's going on?" Jones asked his new partner, Lt. Frieg. "Should we sound an alert? Who _was_ that?"

"Oh that," Frieg said, waving dismissively, "that's nothing. Just Colonel Mustang and his men trying to get the Fullmetal Alchemist to take the annual flu shot. Kid hates needles." Frieg squinted. "Looks like it's going to be good. C'mon newbie, let's go get a good view."

In the distance there was another boom, followed by a roar of fury. Another cloud of dust rose into the air.

"Ooh," Frieg said interestedly once they'd found a convenient spot to safely watch the proceedings, which had now moved to the parade ground. "Looks like the kid has some new tricks this year. Last time, the Colonel cut him off before he even got this far."

"This is really a regular occurrence?" Jones asked, a little stunned by the blasé attitude Frieg was displaying.

Frieg nodded. "Yep. Elric goes a little nuts just before flu season every year." He paused. "Hmm. . . interesting. . ."

"What?"

Frieg narrowed his eyes. "I don't see Lieutenant Hawkeye with the Colonel. Just Havoc and Falman. Breda and that kid Furey don't seem to be around either."

"So?" Jones asked. "Who are they anyway?"

"The rest of Colonel Mustang's staff," Frieg answered, ducking quickly to avoid an errant stone fist as it flew past his head. "I'd've thought they be here. Must be up to something. Usually, you couldn't pry Hawkeye away from him without a crowbar."

"And that matters why?" Jones quavered, covering his head protectively when another explosion sounded, followed by a cackle of triumph. "The hell is that kid anyway? Some kind of demon?"

"Mmm, no, we're pretty sure he's human," Frieg answered. "Though there are some weird rumours about his little brother. Speaking of him, I wonder where _he_ is. He's usually helping to catch Elric 'round about now. Oh. There he is."

Jones gaped as a giant of a man wearing armour began to assist the dust-covered Colonel in his pursuit of the blond boy. "That's his _little_ brother?" he squeaked.

"Yep. Like I said, weird. By the way, here's a tip: don't call Elric short if you want to keep your head. Kid has a hair-trigger temper."

Jones yelped as another stone fist flew overhead, accompanied by a yell of "I TOLD YOU, BASTARD COLONEL, NO NEEDLES!"

Frieg rolled his eyes. "Newbie, relax. You look like you're gonna pass out."

"They said my next posting would be quiet," Jones whimpered. "Is it always like this around here?"

"Only when Fullmetal and Flame start arguing," Frieg said reassuringly.

"Oh," Jones said, a little relieved.

"Which they generally do after spending about five minutes in the same room," Frieg added. "Welcome to Eastern Command, newbie."


End file.
